Down under in bremen: in scharping’s wake

Bremen’s new lifeguard Carsten Sieling goes on vacation with the "Bild". The taz.bremen outdoes it: It lets its employees go bare.

In 2002, Rudolf Scharping (SPD) splashed around in the pool for "Die Bunte," Carsten Sieling (SPD) now does it for "Bild." Photo: dpa/ Screenshot: taz

In the Algarve: Lifestyle editor Jean Baeck

site: Mr. Baeck, as a renowned beauty and lifestyle editor, do you find it difficult to choose the right swimwear for your vacation?

Jean-Philipp Baeck: Very. There’s a lot of pressure when you’re recognized by your colleagues on the beach: After all, I don’t have an everyman face. With the wrong flip-flops (C&A, 3 euros) or a Lycra bikini from Esmara (Lidl, 2.99 euros), you’re quickly out of date. Therefore, I attach the greatest importance to my one, central piece of clothing.

Now we are curious!

The Hawaiian shirt of course.

…the classic.

That’s how it is. Palm tree shadows against a green-brown gradient or flame patterns on pale gray just always go.

Will it be rather swim shorts or the classic briefs on the bottom?

Neither. I’ve noticed – and I’ve emphasized this again and again elsewhere: we have to learn to rethink the concept of an air-cure place, away from the pure inhale-exhale dichotomy. The fresh breeze is good for the loins, too.

So we’ll see you on the beach completely naked?

You’re thinking narrow-mindedly provincial. No, complete nudity tips over into prudery. On the other hand, if you make a fashion statement with a casual casual shirt, sex-on-the-beach cocktail and matching tennis socks, you won’t have to worry about pants.

They’ll set the standard?

As always. I’ll be establishing this fashion throughout my vacation, and by no means just on the beach. The faux leather seats of Portuguese coffee lounges are no longer safe from my butt cheeks.

From the Sail: Happy-Man Jens Fischer
site: Mr. Fischer, are you spending the vacations in the newsroom?

Jens Fischer: That would make sense for the bank account (laughs).

Everybody knows that you love events in Bremerhaven …!

in Bremerhaven, sure, absolutely. To create a bad atmosphere there. That’s how I fulfill my journalistic oath.

Does it matter what you wear underneath?

I’m going on the assumption that it does.

What is it?

In the jungle of social contacts, I remain true to the classic underpants made of 100 percent cotton, without any elastane! And the color: black.

Ecologically, that’s a burden.

That can be. I also always have pimples on my bottom.

From Vienna: Sports Director Simone Schnase

site: Ms. Schnase, is vacation just leisure time for you as a woman?

Yes, well, we spend our dream vacation in Vienna’s second district, and then my sweetheart expects me to bring him his melange in bed before he leaves. But I love doing that! A perfect vacation day for us is when he can sleep in, take a foot bath, read a bit and go to the Prater. In the shadow of the Ferris wheel, he’s at his sporting best. That’s his vacation kick.

And you?

Meanwhile, I go to Billa, buy tomatoes and pasta, because cooking is my great passion. And washing clothes by hand with "Dixan". It smells so different from Germany – a bit exotic. After dinner, I serve Wachau apricot schnapps.

And for dessert?

My homemade currant tartlets. Afterwards I get changed, because we still want to go to the neighbor, Toni, a Carinthian who moved here and still knew Haider personally.

Leiwand!

Toni has a rubber paddling pool in the backyard. There we enjoy the quiet moments of the precious vacation days. The men drink the Veltliner that I have chilled, and later we go to the central cemetery, play soccer with some kids there, and look for a quiet place where I can undress. I dance naked in front of Alfred Hrdlicka’s grave. The men watch. But shhhh, this stays private!

At the hotspots: Food pro JP Koopmann
site: Mr. Koopmann, where do you spend your vacations?

Jan-Paul Koopmann: We take vacations on the road, always traveling between the "hot spots," as those of us who can already speak say – that means me.

Where are the hot spots?

Well, "Gleimi" and Brommy Square and whatever they’re all called.

What does your perfect vacation day look like?

A musty breeze blows in from the Weser and fine sand crunches between your toes and teeth. The main thing is the slide and two or three other rug rats who didn’t make it to the sea either.

What do you prefer to wear on vacation?

Almost nothing is worn on the body this summer except for the greasy old shorts. Although the thing is five times older than my charming companion – and has suffered a bit lately. So with subtle applications of baby vomit. Well. And then just T-shirt on and about 30 pounds of junk on the back.

What junk?

Plastic buckets, diapers and all kinds of pureed stuff. It’s just a short vacation and it’s over in a minute – because of the nap.

From Croatia: Advisor Uncle Benno
site: Mr. Schirrmeister, what advice do you give to people in need of rest?

Benno Schirrmeister: There’s no alternative to a vacation – and it doesn’t matter whether you’re going to the mountains or, as this time, to a picturesque island in the Adriatic Sea: The important thing is to create your own retreat, to be alone, undisturbed: So only take the closest family with you and the most necessary media accompaniment, i.e. only two picture writers to whom you want to grant intimate closeness plus, of course, a photographer.

That saves the emetic?

That’s right. Anyone who suffers from indigestion on vacation should not do without it.

Even if you are constipated?

No, Mother Nature’s table is richly laden in this respect: prunes, for example, have a gentle laxative effect. And in Croatia, it is advisable to reach directly for the fig – but be careful! Birch pollen allergy sufferers run the risk of also reacting to fresh figs!

Can’t the sun also be problematic?

Indeed. It helps to smear yourself against it – if possible alternately! Some are disgusted by the mucus, but my motto is: Never go into the sun uncreamed!

Then you don’t bathe naked?

You hit a sore spot there: My wife says my swim trunks are threadbare, and Moritz Hunzinger would also advise me to buy a new one. But this time I only visited particularly secluded bays.

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